10 EASY STEPS TO DEAL WITH ANGER

                              10 EASY STEPS TO DEAL WITH ANGER

what is Anger and how can we control it effectively?

Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion. Therefore, it's crucial to deal with it in a positive and systematic way without letting it overwhelm you. When  anger is not controlled, it can seriously take a toll on both your  an individuals relationships, mental and physical health.
So in order to prevent such extremes from happening here are some few things to give consideration.

1. Ponder over what you want to say before you do it.

In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take time to reflect on your thoughts and allow others involved in the situation to do the same so as to counter each other from the same frame.

2. Once you're calm, express your anger

As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but non-subjective way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.

3. Do some exercise most often.

Exercise helps in spending pent up energy that may end up causing stress if not checked. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.

4. Give yourself a break from demanding activities

Timeouts aren't just for being with kids. Provide yourself with short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what's ahead without getting frustrated.

5. Identify possible solutions

Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does the pressure from your parents make you feel like bursting out? Does your child's messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and might only make it worse.

6. Express your ideas in the first person singular

To avoid criticizing or placing blame which might only increase tension, use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes," instead of, "You never do any housework."

7. Once the matter is resolved, forgive and forget.

Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all times.

8. Incorporate humor to release tension

Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what's making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.

9. Practice relaxation skills

When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. If you have some ways of meditating, put them to use. You might also practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as, "Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses, whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

10. Learn to seek intervention from professionals

Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Consider seeking help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.